So confused

[starwitch]

I was just wandering if there is anyone out there that has a similar situation as mine......i am hopelessly in love with one woman....but i am married......we had talked about my having a girlfriend and said he was ok with it.....but when i found that special girl and things started to heat up...he couldn't handle it.....he says it is the same as seeing me with another man......so now i am making a decision to stand by my family and my husband and do what is right for my family.....but he does not want me to talk to her or see her anymore.......i hate the fact of sneeking behind his back and regardless of what i am still bisexual and and want to feel the touch of another woman.....how do i hide these feelings cause honestly if i can't have the woman i love....i do not want any others......and i long to talk to her and to see her beautiful face everyday.....i love my husband with all my heart but he doesn't understand how i feel.......i am in love with 2 people...is this possible?.....please help.......

[Ninnian]

Sorry to hear your dilema, starwitch :(

It is very possible to be in love with 2 people, many of us are or have been.
What to do about your husband is another matter. Keep talking and try to figure out where his insecurity slay, and perhaps try to allay them?
You have a family to look after- in My mind(and thats only me), the commitment I made to give the best to my child has to come first.

I wish you the best
Ninnian

[Apleasureseeker]

I'm sorry about your dilemma. It certainly sucks, but look, you have made a commitment. I mean, think back to the first itme you met your hubby...think about why you decided to marry him to begin with. You probably felt the same way about him that you do about her now. It may be that this relationship is new and exciting, so much so that it's eclipsed, for the moment, your memory of your feelings for him. Look at it from the other perspective: what if he met another man or woman? Would you want him to start to rethink his realtionship with you? I bet not. You'd want him to honor the committment you both entered into. It sounds like he was very reasonable about your sexuality up to the point that it began to threaten the home that you both created. I think he'd continue to be understanding if he didn't feel that threat. When a woman, or a man, enters into a relationship with a married woman, thay have to realize that the marriage always comes first--if they really care about you. Even if it means letting go. If this woman you're seeing is threatening your marriage, she may not have your best interests at heart, regardless what she tells you.

[darkeyes]

..i am in love with 2 people...is this possible?.....please help.......Its possible ok..an its shit.. but its all 2 possible.. hope ya can work it out wivout everythin blowin up inya face an ya endin up wiv nowt... try an not let it eat ya up...

[Realist]

Life is rough, isn't it? You're in a terrible fix and about anything you do will hurt you, or your loved ones. You don't want to hear my history, but I have been in the same situation. This is something you'll have to work out for yourself.

The bad thing is, you can't always see the whole scene, for your mind and heart is clouded with your needs and desires. Years later, is when you'll finally discover what you SHOULD have done.

I would not presume to give you advice, because I don't have the best track record regarding affairs of the heart. I just hope you make the right decision. No matter what, someone is going to be hurt!

I hope whoever there is, who looks over people like us, will look down on you and give you a hand.

Wish I had a friend to lean on, then....you've got some of us here!

[starwitch]

Thank you to all who are sending their replies on my issue......Really want to let everyone know that she is not trying to rip me away from my family......she had already told me to pick hubby if i had to make a choice......this was my first girl experience......and i am so glad it is with her.......with young ones at home i know what i have to do right now........live it day by day and miss her so much.....thank you to all posts.

[frenchvikki]

I recently had such an affair end myself Starwitch but I was the other woman. It was fun, we were good together and I did not want it to end.

It wasn't love, but I think it could have been given enough time. It didn't last long but it did last long enough for her to realise what she may lose and me to realise that we were both being selfish.

She too had young children and a husband she loved and is good to her. What started off as a bit of fun began to become more and it is as well she ended it when she did. My selfishness didn't want it to end but I knew deep down she had made the right decision before it became too involved.

I had never intended an affair with a married woman, and have never had a relationship wth a married anyone before except my own ex-husband. It was stupid and selfish but no one is immune to acts of stupidity.

[DiamondDog]

Either stay with your husband/kids, or leave them and be with the woman.

It's not good to keep secrets from someone who you're in a relationship with, especially a spouse, and eventually your secret will come back and bite you or have a disasterous effect on your relationship with your husband and his trust in you.

[paddington]

Hi, i agree with DiamondDog,i've been where you are,got the t-shirt. be totally honest with your husband or you'll loose your marriage. i chose my husband over the woman i was seeing, i saw her for what she was thankfully before i'd made the biggest mistake of my life. that has nothing to do with being bi,it's a reflection of the type of person she is. be careful.