confussed! need advice!

[ngreen85]

this is the first time that i have been with a female and i like her a lot. when we mess around, i don't do anything to her. she definantly turns me on but i haven't ever had a sex with a girl and i don't know if i will enjoy it. i want to please her but the idea of my hand inside of her doesnt attract me. but she has gotten me off and it wasn't uncomfortable. i don't know what it is!

[NEPHX]

Having been there... I can relate even as a male... I wasn't sure what the attraction was... I didn't know what to "do" nor was I particularly attracted to just the plumbing of the first guy I dated. I didn't end up doing much with him. He wanted to go to my place and well, I don't actually know what he wanted... I enjoyed kissing him thought ... a lot. It kind of scared the heck out of me. I knew exactly what to do with women and what I liked women to do to me. (turns out a lot of the same things). Touch, kissing, attention (both ways on all). The rest came later... slowly.

So, it was the connection to that other guy for me...eventually, I figure out exactly what I liked and what I liked done to me so I suspect we all have our "shackles" from how we grew up or how we have been told things are to be. Fewer role models; in the media) or available to me in real life in the 90's. To me, I discovered gender doesn't matter. It feels (mentally) the same and often physicall (ok, you know within reason plumbing not withstanding). regardless of gender and each person has their very own way they like to be sexually (or so I've experienced).

I'd say just share those feelings with your lover (and your fears) and go with the flow. I bet she will tell you not to worry about it and go with the flow. You'll likely evolve, grow, etc. You may find it's not for you but the one you describe was a great experience. Be patient. And, you might find you love both genders or one more than the other or differently on different days of the week for that matter. If you shut down before you know, you'll never know for sure.

Hope that helps.... Just my own personal insight.

[rissababynta]

When I first started becoming sexually active with men, there was something about going down on my boyfriend that I just didn't want any part of. I wanted to make him feel good but I was apprehensive about it. Once I decided to go for it and give it a try, I realized that it wasn't that big of a deal and now I thoroughly enjoy it. Maybe it is just that since it is so new to you, you are apprehensive. It may not be that it is something that you are unattracted to at all, just unexperienced with and you haven't figured out quite what to think yet.

[Realist]

I think as a person matures, a lover's needs become more important to you, too. Since a LTR with a much older woman, when I was in my 20s, I have progressively found more interest and my own pleasure in creating pleasure for my lovers. I've found that what each one desires is different, so communication is the key to success for both your fulfillment and theirs.

[AshMash]

my first advice is to explain your feelings to her... in a none offensive way. then from what she tells u .. who knows maybe you'll try it... lol

[biandloveit]

Actually you should try it.. It may turn you on even more then her touching you. At 1st I was just like you but when I finally built up the courage to do it I had a bigger orgasam then her touching me. Don't be shallow open up.

[darkeyes]

Early days yet hun.. soon get fed up lyin bak an thinkin of England.. fore long ya will wanna explore an c wot all the fuss is bout... wich is extreme yumminess..:bigrin:

[jamieknyc]

Unfortunately there is no way to find out other than by trying it. Some people try it and find they don't like it. Nervousness about trying it is normal- don't let it hold you back.