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There is a small chimpanzee that is known for its high levels of sexual behavior and bisexuality without monogamy. Sex functions in conflict appeasement, affection, social status, excitement, and stress reduction. It occurs in virtually all partner combinations and in a variety of positions. This is a factor in the lower levels of aggression seen in the Bonobo when compared to the common chimpanzee and other apes.

Bonobos are the only non-human animal to have been observed engaging in all of the following sexual activities: face-to-face genital contact, kissing and oral sex. They also do not seem to discriminate in their sexual behavior by sex or age, with the possible exception of abstaining from sexual intercourse between mothers and their adult sons.

Bonobo males occasionally engage in various forms of male-male genital behavior. In one form, two males hang from a tree limb face-to-face while "penis fencing". I have heard human men referring to this activity as "sword fighting" with their penises. This also may occur when two males rub their penises together while in face-to-face position. We humans call that "frotting". Another form of genital interaction ("rump rubbing") occurs to express reconciliation between two males after a conflict, when they stand back-to-back and rub their scrotal sacs together. How many bi men enjoy another man's scrotal sac rubbing his as well? If men generally got over homophobia and biphobia, this might be a pleasurable way to resolve your conflicts with other men rather than a hand shake?

Interestingly, female-female genital behaviour is not reported. Is that due to patriachal sexism amongst primatoligists?

I think that in some cases, it is a good idea to share your love as freely as the Bonobos. Now, would I be as free and loving as the Bonobo bisexual chimpanzees? I don't think that I'd be as loving as them. Do I consider it wrong? Absolutely not. There is always more need for love sexual or platonic in this world.

It is reported that when Bonobos come upon a new food source or feeding ground, the increased excitement will usually lead to communal sexual activity, presumably decreasing tension and encouraging peaceful feeding. Just image if such a philosophy existed within the human species what might that lead to? Would it reduce war and conflict? Imagine when a new oil source is found, all nations send delegates to determine how to split up the oil. There might be a large bisexual lovefest that would make the 1960's look like a kindergarten class on a visit to a shoe store. Peacefully, they would return to their country to share in an equal allotment of oil. Would this be the end of capitalism as we know it?

How would this impact monosexuals and monogamists in humans? I'm not quite sure. Some may argue that "we" are not animals. Well, we actually are animals and more specifically primate mammals like the Bonobos. Both humans and Bonobos have opposable thumbs. (different locations though) Others may argue that human social behaviour and morals are of a higher nature than chimpanzees. Point taken. If that is your perspective, you may want to stop reading at this juncture then as this is only the ramblings of a bisexual man who is free thinking. I suspect that the larger common chimpanzees would agree with you that Bonobos are not moral. Then again, the sexual behaviour of Bonobos comes closer to human sexuality than the common apes. We as a species may be closer to the Bonobos than other primates?

The monogamists may experience anxiety or be rather offended if they were dropped in amongst a group of Bonobo bisexual humans. It certainly would give the monogamist cause to pause to find that monogamy has become an outdated mode of love. Would the monogamous join in or sit in the corner cowering muttering about as a partner they have rights. Maybe, they would get on their soap box making statements about cheating and pointing out that Bonobos are using their bisexuality as an excuse to cheat.

Would the monogamists eventually acknowledge that the each in the community exists as partners with every other citizen? Would pair bonding disappear in time? Would that make us communists or jihadists?

Are you a Bonobo bisexual human male or female in some of your sexuality? Love well my brothers and sisters.

lol... twenty odd years ago, hired as a doorman at a local gang bar by a gang member friend, I came into close and clear contact with the LGBT community ( the pub was owned by the mongrel mob, one of NZ's two biggest gangs, the black power gang was the rival gang )

a back bar tucked away at the back of the pub, it was open on thurs, fri, sat nights, and it catered for the LGBT community inclusively, even a few of the mongrel mob gang would come down and drink with us ( on my nights off ), and large enuf to hold 150 people...so on a good night, there was easily 80+ LGBT and extras in the bar......

much of the rumours I had heard about LGBT, were to be dispelled and confirmed at the bar by many of the patrons in my time in front of the bar and behind it, as I was roped into bartender work one night cos of a sick employee.... but there are memories that I still have after all of these years... and I miss those days where there was real LGBT communal spirit as it was the days before the LGBT rights and anti discrimination laws were passed in NZ in 1993

one of my fav memories is the following

there was a older guy, mid 40's and gay, who was like the *ring leader * of the gay male group, a great bear of a male, fem in personality, quick to laugh and loved by so many, and always good for a joke or 6...... and he had a trademark blue polka dot handkerchief that always hung from the right side of his back pocket, he once told me that it meant that he was single and looking... one of the * gay codes * used by the gay community in the town....

one night, we had a out of towner come calling at the bar and if trouble could grow legs, arms and a mouth, it would have been this guy.... within about 15 minutes, he has already pissed off 3 of the lesbian / bi ladies that often played a fast game of poker in one corner of the bar, by talking about the cards they were holding.....

well my mate whom I shall call bear, wandered over to the *gentleman * and politely steered him away from certain death as a couple of the lesbians in the bar added new meaning to the term " man hater " and they were ready to seperate him from his manhood and other parts of his body..... lol... it was never a good idea to piss them off, one of the ladies was no lady when it came to swing a fast, hard left and a jaw breaking right roundhouse

well the gentleman was in fine form asshole mode and between wiping glasses, taking drink orders and wondering where the phone was with the ambulance on speed dial, I was watching from the bar, as mister asshole tried it on with bear, making some remarks about the handkerchief and how bear was trying to be like those F.......G yank .... yeah, like I said, the guy had a mouth.... bear is a quiet guy and gentle, but with a temper on him that slumbers like a grizzly in hibernation and never a good idea to waken.....

finally the guy pushed too far and said to bear, " so you yank poofter wannabe, gonna tell me what ya rag means before i slip one up ya from behind " .... and bear said, " mate, I will show you " .... I used to be able to clear the bar like a athlete on a vaulting horse, I am a lil past it now lol, but I have barely managed to clear the top of the bar before bear had the guy by the lapels of his jacket, a good foot between the ground and his foot, and promptly blew his nose on this guys shirt before dropping him to the ground...... I got there just in time to take the guy off his foot and face down on the floor.....
most guys do not go for their back pocket unless they are packing a blade, something that I learnt from the streets.....

manhandling the guy out of the bar was not a problem, specially when you are next door to a gang bar and the LGBT was on their patch.......lol

those were the days where the LGBT would sit and drink in the same bar, even if they hated each others guts, cos it was the only bar in town for them to do that, and a watering hole for a dry throat was a neutral place for most people.... and recently I was talking with a friend that said that the bar no longer exists.... apparently it was closed down cos of the bitching and fighting over who was going to run the bar, the gays or the lesbians or the bis and who was in control of everything.. ( it used to be a mixture of them )....and the infighting got so great that finally the bar was closed...and so came the loss of that towns " stonewall "

now all I have is memories of friend and foe, the good times and the bad, the fun the laughter and the vomit that had to be cleaned up.......and a curiosity that maybe, despite all of the positive that has come from gaining LGBT rights and anti discrimination, in some respects they did damage our LGBT communal spirit..... and that is a shame......


maybe one day I will stand behind a bar again, in a lgbt bar, but I am not sure that it will be the same, ... there may be another * bear * with a blue polka dot handkerchief in his back right pocket...and the ladies in the corner with their poker game...... but I have a feeling they are a part of a time gone by......and just a memory of a LGBT bar in NZ

as for bear, he died in 1997 of a massive heart attack and a lot of the regulars were there at his funeral, LGBT and extras..... and to my knowledge, that was the last time that they all stood together in a united cause.....

in 2005 the same sex civil union bill was passed, allowing same sex couples to be joined in a union, but even then, there was not the communal spirit that once existed in a LGBT bar.....

Is there a Bisexual Culture? For many bisexuals, part of our identity is about who we like to have sex with rather than a bisexual culture. We like sex with both genders to varying degrees at various times and frequencies. Some monosexuals seem to invest their sexuality as part of their identity to a greater extent than other sexualities. One perception is that homosexuals have created a culture around their sexuality and identity. Heterosexuals do as well but it is generally seen as the mainstream culture of a society.

There is a belief that subcultures are composed of persons who have shared experiences, background or interests. The idea of subcultures being based on common sexuality has its roots in the actions of Adolf Brant, a German publisher in the late nineteenth and early twentieth centuries. Brant created the first homosexual publication house and followed the egoist philosopher, Max Stirmer's belief about self ownership. It is the concept of property in one's own person, expressed as the moral or natural right of a person to be the exclusive controller of one's own body and life. This includes a belief in a strong commitment to individual rights.

I think that Stirmer's belief would be accepted by many bisexuals. The exclusive controlling aspect as to what a person does with their own body and life would be part of acceptance that who you have sex with is up to the individual rather than the sexual moral of mainstream external forces. Bisexuals do not necessarily see their sexual preference as a static experience for their entire life. This is in part of the fluid aspect of bisexuality. Whether bisexuals see a culture as Brant did may be not as easy to perceive.

LGBT "culture" has been defined as the common culture shared by lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender people. It is sometimes referred to as "gay culture” or "queer culture", but those terms can also be specific to gay men's culture. Just exactly who then is really represented by this GLBT cultural group /organization?

Gay Culture often refers acknowledging famous gay people in the arts and politics, famous gay historical people, understanding the political Gay movement, an appreciation of things linked to the stereotype of Gay, figures and symbols of Gay like the rainbow flag, etc. Gays seem to have developed a culture whether it involves drag queens or at one time secret codes as to what sexual activity the gay person was interested in (hankies, bears, twinks etc.). Pop culture has been chosen by gay men as icons whether it was Bette Midlar, Madonna, Lady Gaga but fewer male icons. Drag queens are often noted for portraying these female gay icons. etc. How many of these things are part of being bisexual and bisexuals' identify with these symbols?

Some posters on bi.com seem to promote this identity scenario as being a member of a group/community. Many bisexuals report that when they find such sites such as bi.com, they feel comforted to know that they are not alone. A few bisexuals post that they are searching for famous bisexuals in history, politics and the arts as a means of identifying in a positive manner with other bisexuals. They may be seeking a bisexual culture.

There are written thoughts about gay culture and this is sometimes put under a single banner of a GLBT community. The recent British report on Bisexuality states something different. "It is important to refer to LGBT communities (plural), rather than community (singular), because even within each category (lesbian, gay, bisexual, trans) there are inevitably multiple overlapping communities and groups, rather than one explicit community" p17 *

In the early days(1950's) of the Gay Rights movement, reports are written about the conflict within the movement. There were those who believed that Gays should integrate as much as possible with the mainstream heterosexual culture in order to show heterosexuals that homosexuals are just like "them". Others argued to agitate for change. I think that this dichotomy continues between these two perspectives with bisexuals today. Public visibility will make bisexuals acknowledged. Speaking out about bisexual issues will create change in the other sexualities' perspective about bisexuals.

The Lesbian Culture may have influenced Heterosexual Culture when looked at from a certain perspective. There was a dispute in the early1950's between lesbians and whether they should wear pants or dresses in a group identifying itself as "The Daughters of Bilitis". Pants were seen as male and therefore perhaps seen as cross dressing in that era. The role of feminism in the 1960's brought the argument into more mainstream heterosexual content. This created visibility of a more openness for dress codes for women. It was not seen as cross dressing once it became mainstream in the heterosexual culture. It may be argued that the role of cross dressing for men remained more isolated than cross dressing for women due in part to the success of feminism.

The Gay Culture has been successful since the AID's epidemic in promoting the concept of monogamy within the Gay Culture. Studies indicate that gay men have become more monogamous like the other monosexual group, heterosexuals. Have gay men reached a point of proving themselves just like heteros? Some point out that monogamy within Gay Culture may have made gay men more monogamous but there is a very significant number of gay men in relationships who are not monogamous. There is the appearance of being a monogamous couple but the reality is that many are not monogamous. My gay friends point this out to me as well as my bisexual friends who practise casual sex fuck buddy philosophy.

If there are any developing bisexual cultural aspects it is developing to focus on causes such as biphobia and Bi Invisibility within the heterosexual and homosexual groups. Issues remain in part unresolved as to how to promote the sexual fluidity found commonly amongst bisexuals as part of a bisexual culture. There is an attempt to develop bisexual icons such as a bisexual flag and a day for bisexuals. Do the bisexuals know this day and celebrate it? Do the GLBT organizations create parades on this day? I don't see much happening not even on this bisexual web site.

It seems to me that bisexuals are mainly interested in practicing their sexual fluid preferences and to be left alone in peace and acceptance is what they want. We are a sexuality but do we really seem certain if we want a bisexual sub culture? As far as Stirmer's philosophy, bisexuals seem to believe that they are in control of their own body and life but have not clarified any ideas about bisexual morality or rights that we see as essential to be the controller of our own life.

The GLBT organization/culture is not going to do "it" for us either. There is increasing acceptance of same sex activity but not that it is [I]"proper[/I]" (morally correct) to want/need sex with both men and women. There are no ad campaigns being sponsored by the GLBT organizations supporting that a bisexual man may want/need sex with another man but that doesn't negate his emotional love for his female partner. No GLBT organization is demanding scientific research to determine if bisexual men or gay men are the main source of spreading HIV. Some might argue, "What difference does it make whether more gay men are infected with HIV or bisexual men? They are both spreading HIV". Doesn't that read like Bi Erasure[I][B]**[/B][/I]? It does to me.
...........................................................................................................................................................
[B]*[/B]The Bisexuality Report: Bisexual Inclusion in LGBT equality and diversity (Meg Barker, Christian Richards, Rebecca Jones, Helen Bowes-Catton & Tracey Plowman)

[I][B]**[/B][/I]Bisexual erasure or bisexual invisibility is the tendency to ignore, remove, falsify or re explain evidence of bisexuality in history, academia & research, the news media and other primary sources. In its most extreme form, bisexual erasure can include denying that bisexuality exists.

[QUOTE=DuckiesDarling;191846]Once upon a time there was a straight woman, to all appearances happy with her life. Then along came a man who connected to her like no other. Showing her that there is a lot more to this world than what she had settled for up til now. Gave her the courage when she finally ended a marriage full of infidelity and let her know that no matter what happens she would never walk alone.

A few weeks after the divorce announcement the friend turned into lover and the straight woman grew wings and flew higher than she'd ever flown before. Phone calls and msn convos could not prepare her for the thrill of being in his arms for real. Not even the thought of a 30 hour plane trip and another four on a bus could deter her from making the trip though. Once there in NZ she made a phone call. Letting him know she was in the country and they both breathed a sigh of a relief. Anything could have happened, the plane could have been delayed, she could have been turned back at customs for some reason or other. Finally this strong pull would be shown for what it was. Was it just fantasy or was it real. Could love really have grown that strong over the distance. Nervously, she got off the bus and looked around. There he was, in the shadows of the building. She ran to him and they hugged and kissed for the first time, his first comment "You are real".

Three months of finding out about each other and what we could do to and for each other were awesome but not as awesome as they could have been if we had been braver with each other.

Now three years later from the first greeting in a chat room they are on the verge of discovering more than they ever dreamed of.

Through a third party with nothing to gain we found what was missing. The little things. I had fears, he had fears, I had dreams, he had dreams, but they were kept locked inside, safe from dissection.

In bringing these things to light we have both discovered things about ourselves and look forward to growing stronger as a couple.

It's his bisexuality he hates. Both of us have hurts and we are healing each other as we go along.

I wrote him something a while back that he found when he was doing a cleanup on his computer.

[I]This day I am honored to become your anam cara
I am proud to be the one who can say “welcome home”
Parts of me were dead before I met you that I didn’t know existed
You bring me to life and sort emotions long twisted
I wish I was a poet to tell the world of our deep love
To explain what we have found and grasped
To turn a phrase that makes everyone understand
But I am just a simple woman who loves
Just look into my heart, love, and see
The ties that bind are deep and strong
And I pledge you my heart forever and beyond [/I]

All in all this straight woman is not sure she's purely straight anymore.[/QUOTE]

I play a game with a chat for alliance only in that realm. One of our members is from Montenegro and apparently they have a very negative outlook on same sex anything. Another member is a lesbian from France. To put it bluntly it got heated as they noticed the word "gay" was banned and the one guy, we'll call him A started going on about how he hates homosexuals in real life. Then the lesbian, we'll call her B, started going on about how they hate breeders.

I stepped in at that point and pretty much got A to agree that everyone has a right to be happy and what people do in their own bedrooms has nothing to do with him. He admitted he just didn't want them to hit on him. I said what makes you think they would? They might have standards you don't come up to. He started laughing and that crisis was averted.

On to the "breeder" comment, I told B that is was very offensive as not all heterosexuals can procreate and if it wasn't for those that procreate the world would end and there would be no more gays or lesbians or bis or trans born.

She apologized and we all got back onto a more friendly topic. But isn't it ironic how things can crop up in every medium and you either take a stand or you don't. In that case, I openly came out as a heteroflexible person with a bisexual partner. They were surprised and said but you don't act like some of the heteros I know so I would have thought you were batting for our team.

I said I can sum up my philosophy with a couple sentences.
1) Everyone has a right to be happy and people's rights end where another person's rights begin.
2) I believe in gay marriage but I also believe in gay divorce. When it's all equal everyone can experience the same joy and the same despair.

So yeah... I am fighting for more understanding of LGBT around the world as I come into contact with people from different localities. I hope you all are doing the same.

I tried to post this yesterday.. wouldnt work.. amended it last night as I lay in bed and tried again.. o well.. these things are sent to try us and the revamp still has teething problems does it not? Poor ole Droosy Woosy.. must be tearing his hair out.. tee hee:tong: Chill me luffly... have sorted it... and as usual.. it was me being stupid... I know.. a difficult thing to believe but there ya are.. forgive the lil tart for losing you a few more hairs...

New site.. well revamp, not quite new.. sore head this morning too as I had a lil look see. Not unusual Sunday morning. Paracetamol helped but Irn Bru did the trick better.. Paracetamol only helps the bonce.. Barr's saviour does the rest at all times...morning after the night before is always better soon as the amber liquid flushes down the throat and hits the spot. Perked up very speedily which was nice...

Light snoring was heard in the bedroom in the morning. She with the frantabulous arse slept very late.. poor babba suffered when the eyes struggled open and the tummy warch set in ... But as usual I was kind and did what needed done until she stopped the dying swan imitation. There are those who think she is a bit of a cold tatty at times.. not so.. as anyone who know her and have been out with the cow will be all too aware.. but until the deadly glow of hangover is gone smiling is never her forte.. not speaking more the order of the day, at least not speaking very kindly..

O dear Katherine.. forgive the little tart for guzzling the last of the precious life saving Bru.... it took a little longer for the pangs and pains to dissipate sad to relate.. did I giggle? Certainly not....well not much, for I am a loving wife and I would not see her suffer long.. no reader, this did not mean I caled in the vet to end suffering.. tis but a temporary ague many of u will have experiencced which did soon pass.. she does not need be euthanased yet a while...there remains far too much pash in both of us for that.. in her case only when life returned to her poor yet to be agonised body.. luckily for her the childers did not return home till late afternoon...

O .com... thee whom I once loved so well.. what have ye become? At times past my saviour, at others so frustrating, sometimes huge entertainment. Where are thee old friends that made this such a gentle (if argumentative) funny,supportive, loving place.?? Sighhhh... times change, The bodies change and it is still argumentative but rarely quite so gentle as once was and never so entertaining and funny and support for one another? That I fear is almost a thing of the past... A change.. it is different.. looks ok.. glitches yet to be ironed out of course but only to be expected.. sadly the glitch of human failing cannot be ironed out and a site is only as compassionate,understanding, loving, decent, informative, supportive, fun, funny and entertaining as.those who use it..

I am no longer of u bisexual world but my love remains, yet fear that time has moved on and passed me by.. I fear that being no longer of u that any value I had to u has gone.. somehow I seem to divide as much as once I think I once helped unite.. o maybe that last is a delusion and an arrogance on my part, but I did so love this place and those who used it.. still do so love a few...and still accord it great regard and affection but the depth of that affection is no longer as it once was.. is it just me? My misreading, and simply that I have moved on or maybe that you have or, just as likely, is it me that has been left behind? That I have remained too long? So few of those I loved so dearly remain.. those upon whose shoulders I shed real tears, both of laughter and of sadness.. I no longer feel it possible now.. I no longer require the tears for the sadness but fuck, the tears of laughter I miss so badly.. and the sense of real affection that existed and shone through. This is not to say that I have developed no real affection for some newer people for I have, but not in the numbers I once did, and that is not simply something I put down to the fact that I no longer chat very often...... Is it just me? That my perception is so off? That memory of a fond and loving past now so distant, blights the present?

The musings of the lil dyke tart.. ignore or not... they are just that.. musings.. but musings of one who may not be bisexual but cares very deeply for the lives and loves, the cares and the future of you all,.yes [B]all[/B].... I married one of you, and in life several of my very best friends are of you...my elder sister is one of your number...how could I not care, you daft things you?.

I am part of a lgbt group that own and run businesses in the top of the south island..... tho I do more computer tech work and charity work than running a LGBT orientated business, I am more of a majority share holder as I have ample access to financing

between us, we own and run cruise bars, hostels, backpacker / B &B etc.... and currently we are looking very seriously at buying the local bar that the LGBT use, something that would be good in my eyes... as it would make it a more secure and permanent place for the LGBT to meet

trouble is where I live, is a town of about 50k people and there is no way in hell that we can have sexuality only nights as there is simply not the numbers needed to cover the costs.... tho I can understand the desire for bi and gay / les only nights..... however there is the numbers to support a trans / crossdresser night.... and thats a night where any person regardless of sexuality can come dressed up as the opposite gender and they get discounted drinks........

that has caused a issue.... as arguments like females can dress as a male and appear normal but males can only dress as ladies and how do we define between crossdressing and normal dress..... well my attitude is WE DON'T, we do a discounted drink policy if the person is wearing ANY visible item of opposite sex clothing and that covers females wearing jeans......

I will be the majority shareholder so what I say, will go, not that I like running any business that way, I perfer equal input as money should not equal more of a voice......and a $ 10k sharesholder has as much of a voice as a $1 mill dollar share holder in my eyes

part of my proposal is that part of the bars profit goes to support a local LGBT youth group and give them a secure, safe location to meet, and get advice and support...... the opposition there is that its the wrong look for a bar to be supporting youth..... never mind the fact that the profits will be channeled into a trust that will run the LGBT youth support group, not the bar directly.....as the LGBT youth do not really have a * home * of their own

another part of my proposal is that we have a zero discrimination policy, we are LGBTHIGQCSSUA etc inclusive.... or lesbian, gay, bisexual, trans, hetero, intersexed, gender queer, cross dresser, sexuality undefined, allies etc.... you could be a alien from mars that has sexual relations with fence posts and you are welcome ..... but no, there is once again opposition to be so inclusive of non lgbt people..... and this shit is going on with the LGBT community for gods sakes......

it is so frustrating that the majority of the support is coming from the heterosexual community and is no where near as opinionated and judgmental as the LGBT community that we are trying to include and support...... yet there is constant cries about equality and equal treatment and anti discrimination......

if I was to withdraw my backing, about 7 businesses would collapse trying to buy me out, as they lack the financing to buy my share of the businesses.....and I am not interested in seeing any businesses go under, specially LGBT businesses as they are a valuable and important part of the community.........

as one of my friends put it " never has so much been bitched about by so few when so little is done by so many when they want so much "

I was reading about a bisexual man writing about his wife who wants a female lover. The wife decided that she was bisexual and had become involved with another married woman. After he thought about it for a few days, he realized that his wife loved him. He wanted her to have what will make her happy. He trusted her to find a balance to give them both attention. Interestingly, the wife was not comfortable with him having a male lover.

A person may take various aspects and perspectives when it comes to love. Love is an emotion of strong affection and personal attachment. Attachment may be both constructive and beneficial if it doesn't become obsessive and possessive about the personal attachment. Some people have a concept that love means exclusiveness sexually (monogamy) while others do not. Monogamy is a partnership and some argue has little to do with love when the attachment becomes possessive. When a person wants to be sexually exclusive is that love or possessiveness and jealousy?

Jealousy is possessiveness. Both relate to ownership and manifesting a desire to control or dominate another. This is most negative and especially if it is inorder to limit a person's relationship with others. Some permit platonic relationships with others and some develop jealousy and possessiveness of even platonic relationships. Fewer tolerate and are comfortable with sexual relationships with others which may lead to conflict for some bisexuals.

Jealousy is an emotion that refers to negative thoughts and feelings of insecurity, fear and anxiety over an anticipated loss of something that the person values, particularly in reference to a human connection. Jealousy often consists of a combination of presenting emotions such as anger, resentment, inadequacy, helplessness and disgust. Jealousy implies a triad composed of a jealous individual, a partner, and a perception of a third party or rival. Jealous reactions typically involve aversive emotions( disgust etc.) and/or behaviors that are assumed to be protective for their attachment relationships instead of perceiving the triad as beneficial to the happiness of the loved one.

Jealousy may be: a/ sexual or b/ emotional/ romantic. Romantic jealousy is the most complex of the two forms and it is a result of a threat to the self esteem of the jealous person. Romantic jealousy arouses the strongest emotional reaction. Jealousy is often reinforced as a series of particularly strong emotions and constructed as a universal human experience that may seek to privileged monogamous discourses.

Sexual jealousy may be defined as a response triggered when a significant other displays sexual interest in another person. Romantic jealousy is a complex of thoughts, feelings, and actions which follow threats to self esteem. One partner can feel the emotion of jealousy arise if the other partner is paying more attention or time with someone else. The man above was correct in stating that his wife would have balance the attention that she might give to both him and her female lover if they were to be comfortable.

Schachner & Shaer (2004) report that there are no sex difference in expression of childhood attachments and jealousy but certain adults experience jealousy as a more harmful coping mechanism than others. Jealousy plays a role in sexual attachment for some adults. Schnachner & Shaer state that emotional jealousy was found to be nine times more responsive in females than in males.

The "Love Style" of the person experiencing jealousy and possessiveness becomes a significant factor. The man above had a love style that differed from his female partner.

Love songs, love stories are created to reinforce the concept that love is an exclusionary behaviour but this construct is usually created by monosexuals and not bisexuals. We do read or hear of stories of sacrifice and love. If a person loves you they should put their own happiness aside to "prove" their love for you is quite a different approach than the husband above. In fact, he was bisexual himself and obviously revealed this to his bisexual wife thinking that they both might show their love by offering what may make each happy. In that respect, some may argue that he was not really sacrificing. He was as she wanted the freedom but refused to grant him the same. Why should you have to sacrifice your freedom on the guise of love if your partner is interested in your happiness? It seems like a Catch 22.